Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd away
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Entries
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Back!!! Wa damn piss off with ppl who like to say things i never done before... Hello!!! Ms April!!! please self-service why u don't appear when i was single?? say all u want when i am single?? why must wait until i attached agian le than come and play this type of bitchy style.. come on la u know u never win de.. i give up le u means is over de u know how firm i am with this words de... SO please self-service....
LIVING.out.of.REALITY; Saturday, January 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
hmm... i dunno if i shld let her know that i am willing to try agian if she does anot. cause there are so many bad things about her what i went to USA heard from so many ppl that she change alot not in good side but bad. Been trying so hard to belive that the trust i had in her that time was true. Alot of ppl say she was flirting around when i was away. When my sis break with her bf she will sms me just to ask why. i was surpise that this news other than the bf itself noones knows and i dunno why she contacted my sis bf while i was away so many things so culess make me few so unhappy.
Anyway today my parents & frens already started to question me why i still single. Haiz i wish i could tell them but i think i just could not. i cannot let go the past cause i fell to hard and i doesn't wish to stand up cause ........
Well just hope she see this post at least and hope i could have a answer. Maybe 1 day before i really go into my future. I still wish she could be my 1 day gf than end it that way, i guess that will be a better ending for a break up like this cause after all is 7yrs r/s. but is all just wishes sorry to say but this kind of stuffs hardly came true.
Yao
LIVING.out.of.REALITY; Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Saturday, December 05, 2009
help me !! been stupid thought i can get over her. so have been contacting awhile lately found out that i cannot get over her just by a simple fren pic she take will make me feel the pain agian and agian like everything is back to that day when she say break!! been thinking of getting her back but the odds are well too low this time and pride is in the way.. can someone tell me how to flirt really just play with girls maybe i will be a jerk 1 day but at least i will be much more happy than now. i belive.
LIVING.out.of.REALITY; Saturday, December 05, 2009
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
hmm.... just feel like shouting out loud but yet i don't not dunno what's wrong with me. After her sms i become emo agian. I know she is just guilty and maybe not very happy with her current bf. That's why she did that. don't she know she is just making me worry for nothing. i am trying very hard to turn to a new life i still want my old self back. DAmn Shit!! emo really kills. i just accidently let 1 of my frens to emo with me and yet i make her think of the bad past i felt like a total jerk. but i really cannot do much now it will just make me worse... Come on i got to get over it man someone please teach me seriously.
LIVING.out.of.REALITY; Tuesday, December 01, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
well back agian hmm... is late at night all of sudden got some thoughts that flash in my mind and i started to text a fren of mine which i know recently and "her". 1st just wan to tell this new fren that i know that she is a kind girl just that she got to change her way of behaving if she don't want ppl to take her as a gangster girl. 2nd as for her dunno why after text my fren more thoughts came in to my mind that make me wonder why she text me that day. Is she really happy with her life now? or started regreting ? well i don't know about that but i just have a feeling that she is not as happy as before. than i choose to text her just to give her some strength to move on with her life hope my words can encourage her to walk on happily cause i still rmb her smiles everytime i dream of her is like the best things on earth. So i know she saw my blog recently just hope she is happy.
Yao
LIVING.out.of.REALITY; Friday, November 27, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
well back agian to this place. hmm... is been awhile since i last saw "her" sms i was shock when i saw her sms i thought she have already went to her new life with her current bf. Hmm... well after reading and reply on her sms i felt that i have changed, i can control my feelings much more better having myself thinking in a clearer way rather than sitting down emontionly by myself. Well it seems like she is not happy at all with her bf but i guess life change people change. This impact make me move on alot i started to go club with frens and change of new styles here and there it's been a very wonderful learning jounery kinda like this life now. Maybe now i just feel kinda sad for her i wish i could have the courage to help her back but after some thoughts i guess i should stay low so she can forgot me when time goes by day by day. well i had told her that i will be staying single for now or maybe longer as i told her i still cannot find anyone that is worth to take over her place in me. Well cause i still rmb what she told me when i was with her and when she break off with me while i was in states. This 2 sentences is the worse ones i heard so far. 1st is she said i wasn't suppose to had a gf cause i am too firt and i cannot see who is fren and who is gf. 2nd was during my time in states she said i am better living without u this sentence mean i am the wall that was blocking her all the time well everything is over now but this 2 sentences make me understand that i am not a good bf and i care too much for ppl till my partner is always worry for me. Anyway the things i wanted to say is may fate bring her all the happiness she can get cause after all girls are mend to be love and not cry.
Yao.
LIVING.out.of.REALITY; Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Thursday, November 05, 2009
dunno what to type here today but just want to rmb the dream i had after so long. i dream of her agian feelings are so real just like before i left for PV. the moments are there the feelings are so true i felt her in my arms agian don't know why i really wish it is true. i thought i already trying to chase another girl that i know recently but i guess i was wrong glad that i have not hurt anyone yet. hmm.. dunno when can i really forgot her dunno how much am i going to damage myself to de-stress but yet maybe this is what i get for archieving my childhood dreams that day. My life really did change when i fly to USA alot of friends said the same thing. Are u Yao?? no matter what happens or what people say i guess closing my own door is the best choice to make. haven really forgot her before i will always think of what is she doing , is her bf treating her good , is she happy ? etc. Well i don't know maybe our story doesn't really end yet. ching really wish u happy as always i just wants to know that u are happy that's all. Sorry i am not a good bf i should have not left u alone . i am selfish sorry
yao
LIVING.out.of.REALITY; Thursday, November 05, 2009
Ah Yao86
Hi to anyone who found my blog i am a blur n puzzle guy
who is always looking my way back. :)
This is actually a personal diary of mine
but since u found it u , please read it
and maybe u can help me to find my way home.
