Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Hi finally back agian to this blog actually i am not to use com durnig the death of my grandmother but then if i never say it out i will die let's start from the friday midnight she message me asking me to send her home as a fren cause she wanted to watch a movie with her fren so i agree with her and decide to send her home. So i went out to fetch her back reaching her side around 5 then i saw her walking back to the lift. But i really cannot make it that day so i decide to give her the pig my fren give me for bday than i run to her telling her to keep it for me cause i wan her to be happy as she use to be. i try to be strong but i cry. she try to stop me from crying back i does not work than she hugged me i feel so sorry to her i jus keep saying sry and tell her that "this pig is for u to keep when u are single and if u are attact plz return me the pig and forgot me forever so ur r'ship will go on for ur next bf" after saying i go home and rest then i was only slping for 1 hr when my family told me my grandmother pass away i was to shock when i see is real i cry out the whole day during the time i forgot about the pain with her during that time see my grandmother die i was so sad as i wan to bring her out this coming thur but i don't think there is anymore chnace left.. my gf came on the second day to visit my grandmother but i was too tired don't really saw her come but my parents told me she did come . Haiz all the secert i kept all come out cause i don't think i can hide anymore so i told my parents about my uncle car and others things then they realize why i did all this and now i got the permission to drive both car as and when i wan is kind of a good thing but i won't think i will be able to use much of a car as i got my gf and no one to bring so maybe all i can do is to study hard and aim for my dergee in the furture haiz.. ok really don't wan to say too much not in a mood so that's all ...
- Tuesday, August 29, 2006;
Friday, August 25, 2006
Hi hi back to the place where i can tell my feelings out but 1st of all let me thanks all my frens that help me out in the test today plus thanks to everyone who is willing to pull me up from this fell but sorry i could not stand all for now cause i don't wan to forgot my happy moments with my gf jen ching until now i still never say she is not my gf i still have her in my heart my gf jen ching i never forgot her till now still wearing the neacklace and hug the dog that she give me can i still cannot forgot her. Life do go on noone will be able to anything if u don't want yourself to move and i am the person now in life that is not moving and jus wan to remenber the past at school when i was on the way to my test something happen to me it was the 1st time i don't feel scare for test,all i can feel is my heart crying crying till i am lost, lost in a way that i don't know what i am doing but jus her my whole mind was thinking of her i try to stop but it cannot, so i force myself to not shown the expression of my sadness to anyone but yet still kind of hard some of my frens still know it. For these few days i have been eating lesser and lesser getting more sad day by day maybe is because without her i really cannot stand but i promise to myself i will wake up from all that and go forward cause i know one day i will go back for her when we both really understand each other better why i did this is all because of one reason wanted her to understand what love really means it does not mean by calling each other and meet up everytime is equal to love. Her Mind set is wrong love is actually some kind of power that we all humans have only it is not known by too much people as many people thought of the way she think is love. Love is a kind of power that u no need to even call her everyday or every hr to know what she doing, love is not like trying to make ur another half happy while u are sad urself all this are not love is just a way to make urself stress to make urself lost the power of what love really brings to u. I may not be a good guy to all but i myself will never regret what i have done to anyone cause i think b4 i act everything ,the answer to all ur action is actually known b4 hand is only wheather u wan to belive or not , so no matter how much i love her i still got to let go cause she don't know what is the real love she is looking for to. Some i let her fell down like me i fell down and i could stand up yet cause sometime if u never fell u will never know why will u fell down what wrong with urself. Only when u fell down then u know why all this happen as people will never think back to what is wrong in he or she whatever they are in a good mood. but i really still cannot forgot her even if one they someone can let me forgot her i won't know wheather my heart is still able to keep anyone person in anot? cause my heart is already stolen by her............. erm... jus abit of add on this song is just for her to know my feeling for her.. and i am glad my fren all found there love i am happy for them haha that's all
- Friday, August 25, 2006;
Thursday, August 24, 2006
hi back agian in this saying what i want to say to her in here hope one day she will know why i wan to break off with her. This morning around 2 midnight b4 i slp i message her this answer she wanted to know (you have already walked in my heart but i need to let u go) because i don't not want to broke of with her is the way she treats this r'ship. After that i wake up in the morning feeling very sick my frens called me and she also message me asking me about the 5 things i like off her the 1st time she send me this message i really don't care about it much till i broke off with her then i understand how important is this message to her so i reply her back with Caring, Act cute,Always bully me, Helpful and Willing to sarfice anything for me it is from my heart this is what i really wan to say maybe it's too late but i still got to say i nvr forgot her in my life after all this message i send i when to gin moh to take my uncle car for service when i start to heard my mp3 i heard this song call gou gou shou from guo mei mei i eyes start to wet and i feel very uneasy but i still listen finish it cause this is the song i send her telling her it is a very meaningful song for us to listen and understand it real meaning in it. And Afternoon around this time (12:30) i was at west coast mac alone waiting for my uncle car to be ready and flashing back all the memory i wan to remenber from her cause i think this is the percious moments i want to recover the moments i wil keep in mind so far i don't think anyone will be able to walk in to my heart as my heart don't not have any room spare for anyone to come in esp: a girl name layhong cause she really don't understand what i really want her to do cause i found her kinda blur in everything she do. Her frens and family got to tell her every single step what can do what cannot do which make her turn out like a robot jus like that is wasn't clear what i actually know her for the real thing i wan is to let her be my fren that's all i want i like to have more fren that's all but she think in a wrong way she thought i want to know her is because i wan to stead with her i try telling her how could i even timer to anyone i don't wan to be a jerk to anyone say i explain to her telling her everything she should know but until now she still don't understand my love to jen ching is like life sentence in prison won't be able to get out so easy. She is making my life stress but i got no choice as she really cannot understand what i wan her to know. Maybe time may let her understand i don't really care if she will be my fren now as i really don't have any mood for all this i had enough i just wan to make clear that i broke off with jen ching is not because of anyone is just her that's all i know it maybe a very bad broke off but still wan to say i won't regret it as i know one day i will go back for her unless she have a new half than i will let go and wish her all the best cause i understand love is really not a good thing to settle and i amire all the couple who have already when to marriage and start there second level off there life maybe i won't have the chance to go thru that but i understand if this 1 stage we cannot make it 2nd and the 3rd stage off our life won't be happy at all. i felt from so high but i am climbing back to what i was b4 ok ba so long for today ..........
- Thursday, August 24, 2006;
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Hi Hi 1st Time On Blog Find It Funny Thought I Won't Blog But End Up Here.. Ok Let's Start My 1st Blogger It Maybe Sad For Sure Cause Today Is the Day I Broke Of With My Gf Which I Love Alot But I Got No Choice But To Left Her Because Between Us We Have Alot Of Things Than I Could Not Explain N I Don't Know How To Explain But I Jus Want To Let Her Know If Anytime I She Found My Blog Cause I Really Like Her That Much I Will Want To Wait For Her Cause After That Time I Stead With Her She Wasn't Herself At All As Her Auttide Change Totally To A Person I Cannot Take It She Can Call Me 20 Plus Call A Day And It Make Me So Disturb That I Scare Her Every Call She Called. She Can Make Me Don't Dare To Listen To Her Phone What She Call Me. But I Still Try To Understand Her Till Today I Cannot Stand Her Anymore 18/10/2002 to 23/08/2006 But No Matter What I Cannot Forgot Her I Lie To Her Telling Her I Have No Tears For Her When I Say Break But After I Hang Up The Phone My Tears Run Out Like Tap Water I Don't Know Why But It Really Hurts Me Now What I left Is Her Photo, Her Present She Give Me And Ring With Neaklace To Wear On My Neck. Maybe It May Seems Wried Seeing Me Wearing That On Me But It's What She Left For Me I Will Tesure It Till The Day Someone Can Let Go Of It.
- Wednesday, August 23, 2006;