Wednesday, September 06, 2006
hi back to the place to write my words in here. Have anyone ever lost 2 loves ones at a time ?? i tell u i do i lost my gf jen ching and my grandmother on the same week so heart pain until i can die so lonely till now still kinda miss both of them one is my grandmother who see me through from small till now another is my gf that will acomppany me when i need her the most even i say she is kind of sticky but i understand why she is like that so until now i still never able to forgot her . she change alot recently at least better then that time we still contact each other and i find it better. Fews days agi thru her sms i cry in heart to reply this msg (why u always need to wait until u lost a thing then will start to treasure not everything u treasure will turn back to ur way do u know?) after sending i smile abit cause at least she know what i really want her to be last time when we stead u finally know my affort of this break up is not wasted i am glad but time goes by i find out is better to kept here and maybe not to say by my mouth jus to let her know i still care for her till now but just won't show out for her cause i scare for now if patch we sure will have the same problem agian so i rather see her happy and keep myself by her side silently. Really missing the days where my ah ma always wake up early in the morning scolding me to wake up and go for work, is kind of angry in ways but when she was gone now then i know that is a care for me to learn to sleep early and wake up early not to be lazy as a pig.from small i was bought up by my grandparents for what i am now half is because i have them with me now 2 are gone left 1 behide for me i starting to wonder will i die without them one day maybe i will cause i really not use to all this days now so strange so cold everyday was like the end to me hope i can go to meet up with them sooner dunno why jus feel that this world isn't mind playland anymore really wanted to turn back time...............
sometimes i wonder i help so many people who have really helped me my life go so different after i have my linesce to drive everything change people around me wasn't so real they are all like fakes if only someone who really i can trust to bring me out from this hell so everything i want will really come back too me hope it's true haiz... no matter what i got to say i still love her till now jen (LOU)
- Wednesday, September 06, 2006;