Saturday, April 25, 2009
back agian. I had a bad dream on monday. I dream that i was back in sg and i really saw her with another guy and is 1 of my fren. i freak out like a mad man. But i don't not do anything to my fren instead i become very indenpent myself and don't even go out anymore with my reg frens that i always been i become a working machine only work and work earn money that's all OMG tell me that's not true when i go back 5 wks more to go and i will face all the facts tell me what am i going to do ... If anyone saw this can u tell me what to do i am confuse....
- Saturday, April 25, 2009;
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
haiz... it's been 3 weeks plus already still cannot stop thinking just keep trying to make myself bz to forgot her. 6 more weeks for me to go home all of a sudden i feel so worry to go home feel so lose when i go back. It's been tough since the day she reply me i am not her dar anymore. From that day onwards i really got heartbroke it's like pain till i cannot really know what's going on anymore. i am just trying to get over the last 6 weeks and go home. kaoz...,. Really in need of help man... this is damn crazy
- Wednesday, April 22, 2009;
Saturday, April 11, 2009
haiz 2 weeks past already. Yet i am still as useless as a baby thinking of her every now and then try to forgot her. Forgot all the good and bad times that we been thru. Time Really don't wait for people to U Turn and so do her. I think i have already msg her near to 40 Times but she still don't not reply me a single 1. i am Amazed how she did that? How she can be so heartless? Who is behide all this i really don't belive is her that did that. i rather she tell me the truth not everything she got to suffer herself i am there to help. Ching u know ma i am even more worry since the day u say break Do u know that? Because all the Forever Promise is make by u and now U break it urself. Still remenber u ask me not to leave u regardless of what will happen ? You always belive we can go over all the problems. But why this time u don't belive i will still be the same Ah Yao u know. If u hate me because of me coming to USA for NS. I will still tell u i don't not do wrong. is a choice that i want to make and it is choice that i wan to see my frens clearly. Do you know how much pain i suffer ma for just coming here. I suffer the biggest pain is leaving u in SG do u know how much i wan to marry u that time and bring u over? Don't u know how firm that i will be with u forever? To Me u are like already my wife don't u think ? don't u feel?? No matter how much i suffer here is not as pain as the day u say break to me. It is like breaking me apart, Apart from everything do u know?
- Saturday, April 11, 2009;
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Back Agian This time i am typing while i am having a hang over from yesterday night drinking. I don't know how it really started but the most suprise things is i drunk the whole bottle of Long Island Rum Which is about 2 Liters if i am not wrong. i only took 2 hrs to settle it. i was so drunk that i started laughing and crying at the same time. i won't know what will happen at that time but i am so drunk until i don't even remenber who i called that night it was crazy. Love really is a very Powerful thing it can make u be the most happy guy in the earth and at the very end it can make u be the lousy person too. All i can say is this break up really is pain so pain till i cannot think right or do things right at all.
Today i cook curry bee hoon for my dinner in SQN but guess what i forgot to season my chicken b4 i cook haha. So the whole curry is only spicy but no taste how funny right haha. On Monday i iron my uniform but i don't not off the iron and i went to work i only notice it when i was already halfway to work about 40 mins. Let's see what will happen for the next 7 weeks hope i can go back SG in piece i really do even we are no longer together but i think i owe her alot. No matter what happen i will still need to go back to her. Hope our feeling will be back or i will be really aimless once more and this time it will be even more pain.
- Wednesday, April 08, 2009;
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
is me agian all alone at my house. It feels so cool and lonely in the nights which make me scare when everythings turns the other way i don't feel myself anymore. No Joy No nothing just me and this lonely room that i got. I don't know how she can get over with this pain but not for me i feel every single pieces of my heart break in pain until i cannot even feel myself anymore. Life now is not as good as i was before. Things changes and it was no longer in my play. I guess i really got kick out of the game already. I really very scare when i go back to SG i will saw her with another guy i don't know what will happen i am so scare but i don't tell anyone. I always try to control when i am out but once everyone is gone i will break down agian like no one cares. i still got 7 weeks more i don't know how am i going to hang on to this. I really cannot imagine this day will come to me agian OMG!!!! So Pain !!!!!
- Tuesday, April 07, 2009;
Friday, April 03, 2009
haiz tell me what to do. i called her yesterday but she don't say anything much but from hearing her voice is enough to make me cry out the whole night without even trying to. guess this is how powerful love can be. After i hang up with her i really cannot control myself all the flash back from young comes to my mind. i really feel so bad about myself why choose to leave her. I guess my heart is still with her. Regardless of where or who she is with. i think that's it my love life will be over soon but i still cannot get over with it. i know when i go back the chances of patch back is always there because i think she is not that heartless.
I really cannot imagine if she really got a bf to replace me. i think i will totally break down in to pieces. I guess i am really stupid. After knowing the do's and don't of a girl i still can fail the love test. Can't imagine that a 90 point guy like me can fail to this.
Anyway i am trying to forgot her so i actually keep on keeping myself bz like working,driving around and cooking dinner for my frens in the SQN. i hope it works i know i still cannot control my feelings cause every night if i don't not feel tired and slp early the flashback will come back. The flashback is so sweet but the real life is already over. i still can imagine that time when i and her is from the high sch. Plus i still can clearly flashback how i ask her and the time b4 we are together. haiz..... don't say already.
- Friday, April 03, 2009;