Tuesday, May 25, 2010
I felt so lost now
24 may 10, just a simple normal day while me and dear are doing stuffs of our own like studying and work, etc... everything was cool until my night class ends i call dear hearing her voice thru the phone i felt funny i felt her like getting bored of me even it is not her intendtion but it just feels this way.
i was ok till around 11 30 pm when i meet zy and fren to have a small chit chat near my area, i was texting dear throught out the conversation with zy. But my mood started to change from bad to worse i beening to worry about dear cause of the conversation we had a few weeks back regarding my work and stuffs. i felt so lost i felt like i gonna lost everything in my life agian and go back to the start where i was.
about 1.20 midnight when i arrival back home i take a quick look at my fb to see if there is any funny videos or comment in my fb.. so happen that i see what dear wrote on fb and the way she type on her blog. this time i felt horrible i felt so hard trying to be a success man in this world is so hard. i felt like giving up agian giving up on everything that i had been struggling for the past few months.
all i wanted is just a simple life with the ones i love and the ones i care that's all i want in my life but it seems so hard when i felt that everything i do i will lost something. Like in my life i always got to face the options of choosing LOVE and CAREER. why can't i just have both ?? why cannot i just be like any other business man that have a career with a wife and kids... sometimes i really wonder am i a person that is ever going to be good enough for anybody.
i am too confuse and scared right now i don't really know what to say and what to type my feelings are always very confuse when i write cause my heart is reading itself too.. is just confusing...............
- Tuesday, May 25, 2010;